I'm going on record here, I've watched a lot more Olympic curling than I expected. I don't watch too much usually, maybe some of the Brier, but Olympics I always seem to watch. The men are more skilled and make more "wow" shots, but I love to watch the ladies, too. Cheryl Bernard is definitely the sexiest curler in the event. She may not be the youngest, or the prettiest, but she's definitely the sexiest. She has a crazy sexy intensity and I'm pretty sure that makes it more fun to watch. Ok, I'm very sure about it. So I guess if curling wants to get more popular, they'll have to run out an Anna Kournikova-style team that isn't really very good, but they're super sexy enough to get more fans into the game. They'd be an also-ran in all the big bonspiels, but they'd get press and it would be good for curling. Until then, though, Cheryl Bernard is the super-hot milf Queen of Curling. I'm expecting a good showing in the next year from Jennifer Jones, she's my homeskillet.
The mens curling has been great, too. Kevin Martin's rink has made some super awesome shots, just matter-of-factly. They are so good that you can't strategize against them because they make every single kind of shot look effortless. They are a robot curling machine sent from the future to dominate, and they will not be stopped. The Norwegian men made it to the gold medal game in curling based on a strategy that relied heavily on not being taken seriously as a result of their ludicrous pants. That gambit is up, I'm afraid, because Kevin Martin's robot rink is immune to the absurd. Their cold robotic logic is entirely unaffected by any psychological ruse. They will win and they will make it look like you played right into their hands. So may I present the almost-Gold Medal Canadian Mens Curling Team, the Puppet Masters of Curling, The Hammer from Olympus, Kevin Martron with Curlingbots 1, 2, and 3!
In other, pathetic curling news, the mens curling rink from the US has been a terrible disappointment. I have a hard time believing these guys are the best curlers in the US, they can't be. They look like they could be beaten at a weekend funspiel by senior citizens. I know how disappointed this has made the fans, because if they were good, more Americans would watch and get hooked on the sport.
It's one of the great life-long games you can play, and I look forward to my future bringing curling back into my life someday. I hope it spreads infectiously through the US, at least in the midwest through the northeast. More people should be enjoying this game, giving adults a sense of curling-club community so they can finally stop going to church.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Review: Kyle Kinane - Death of the Party
I would like to preface this review by stating that I was present at the recording of this album and I have fond memories of that night. I was first in line for a sweet show at the UCB in LA and I got the best seat in the house. So I may skew a little extra favourably of this recording.
It finally arrived in the mail 2 weeks after it was released, and so I am stoked to review this. I don't think there's enough buzz for a clearly talented performer. I find Kyle's cynical, wry, self-deprecating conversational style very engaging. I really enjoy when a comic's best material is from personal stories, the context and narrative is very fulfilling.
Kyle masterfully relates his material to the audience on a variety of topics ranging from uncomfortable bathroom encounters to face-fucking bunnies, and really achieves a personal relationship with the audience. He flips over all the rocks and lets his doubts and fears out, and achieves a remarkable conversational/confessional style that I found extremely easy to relate to.
He relates an arts education to a parachute made of pasta,
and he is really adept at applying depth to every situation and idea, so that the audience is with him all the way and looking for every curve and bump in the ride, knowing that there's a never-ending supply of laughs.
Does that sound enough like a regular, stupid review? I think so. I'm not sure if it sounds pretentious enough yet. Alternative. Seriously, Kyle Kinane gets me, and I'm with him all the way. This is quickly one of my favourite comedy albums. Its an accurate representation of a single night's performance, which can be like lightning in a bottle. Transcendent. Beards. Sufjan Stevens. Kurt Vonnegut.
5 Stars out of 5 stars
It finally arrived in the mail 2 weeks after it was released, and so I am stoked to review this. I don't think there's enough buzz for a clearly talented performer. I find Kyle's cynical, wry, self-deprecating conversational style very engaging. I really enjoy when a comic's best material is from personal stories, the context and narrative is very fulfilling.
Kyle masterfully relates his material to the audience on a variety of topics ranging from uncomfortable bathroom encounters to face-fucking bunnies, and really achieves a personal relationship with the audience. He flips over all the rocks and lets his doubts and fears out, and achieves a remarkable conversational/confessional style that I found extremely easy to relate to.
He relates an arts education to a parachute made of pasta,
and he is really adept at applying depth to every situation and idea, so that the audience is with him all the way and looking for every curve and bump in the ride, knowing that there's a never-ending supply of laughs.
Does that sound enough like a regular, stupid review? I think so. I'm not sure if it sounds pretentious enough yet. Alternative. Seriously, Kyle Kinane gets me, and I'm with him all the way. This is quickly one of my favourite comedy albums. Its an accurate representation of a single night's performance, which can be like lightning in a bottle. Transcendent. Beards. Sufjan Stevens. Kurt Vonnegut.
5 Stars out of 5 stars
Lebron James
Here's what I think is the best thing about Lebron James. He's 6'9", 235 lbs. and he is more athletic than all the guards in the league. He's a fast shot of liquid amazing on offense and not a liability on defense. This guy is 25 and playing in an era that can keep his already freakish body working for a very long time.
The best part of the future I see for him is that when he finally loses his step a little, he'll just play a power forward and become the best post scorer in the league. He is going to be a valuable part of a franchise as a top-3 rotation player until he's 40, and then he'll probably win a couple sixth man trophies when he's in his mid-to-late forties. The only thing that can change this future is if the man doesn't have the desire to play for as long as he can.
He seems to like being a celebrity, and that siren song may take him from the game prematurely. With today's training and medicine, I am confident Lebron could hang with the NBA talent in a useful capacity until he's 50. He could break all the records, even the silly ones that don't really even count in historical perspective, like Wilt's scoring record. Plus, wouldn't it be awesome to see him like late-80s Kareem, He'd be all bald but with a gigantic Kimbo Slice beard, he'd get even bigger like 30s Shaq, 6'9" and 290 lbs., he'd be hanging around the rim, playing defense and delivering punishing fouls.
He would have the most amazing NBA career, not top five but number one. He would surpass Jordan as the most amazing player in the league. Jordan isn't really even the right comparison. He's more like a thicker Magic, capable of really playing any of the 5 positions at a high level. He's better than Magic, too, because his defense is better. So as long as his career doesn't get derailed like Magic's did, I think he really will go down as the best player the league has seen so far.
He won't win as many scoring titles as Jordan, he won't win as many rings as Russell, he won't put ahead a 50-point average season like Wilt, but he'll whip up a lot of triple-doubles in his career, he'll be the best player on his team for at least another ten years, and in this diluted and mostly well-managed league, he will be an envied asset for any organization. Especially when he realizes that he has hundreds of millions of dollars and only has to play to win.
He already makes his team play better, what will happen when he starts signing 5 million dollar deals to play with his buddies and win a few rings? Sports fans are a fickle bunch, though, and I have a bad feeling that if Lebron doesn't live up to that expectation, he may be remembered as a disappointment. Not because he wasn't great, because we already know that he's great, but because if he loses his desire to win, and retires before he's 40, true fans will feel like they got cheated out of seeing Lebron morph into Bill Laimbeer when he's reinventing his game for the third or fourth time.
He's just such a special player that everyone wants to see his gifts utilized 100% because we know that he has transcendent game within him and its magical to see and we will never be happy with the amount of transcendence he get from him. Make no mistake about it, he will be a bit of a disappointment if he doesn't surpass everyone else with his career.
I can't believe anyone ever even asks, "Kobe or Lebron?" It doesn't make sense. Just consider their positions and bodies. In the gap between players at their own positions, Lebron is far better than his competition at his position than Kobe is. Kobe is expected to score more at this point in his career. He's a perimeter player. Lebron makes up for it in that he makes his team better than Kobe does. He seems more well-balanced mentally than Kobe as well, so I think that he will be able to become a great big man, great sixth man, great role player, great clutch player on a lot of competitive teams. He'll get around a bit as he gets older, and he'll bring some personality to every team lucky enough to have him.
The best part of the future I see for him is that when he finally loses his step a little, he'll just play a power forward and become the best post scorer in the league. He is going to be a valuable part of a franchise as a top-3 rotation player until he's 40, and then he'll probably win a couple sixth man trophies when he's in his mid-to-late forties. The only thing that can change this future is if the man doesn't have the desire to play for as long as he can.
He seems to like being a celebrity, and that siren song may take him from the game prematurely. With today's training and medicine, I am confident Lebron could hang with the NBA talent in a useful capacity until he's 50. He could break all the records, even the silly ones that don't really even count in historical perspective, like Wilt's scoring record. Plus, wouldn't it be awesome to see him like late-80s Kareem, He'd be all bald but with a gigantic Kimbo Slice beard, he'd get even bigger like 30s Shaq, 6'9" and 290 lbs., he'd be hanging around the rim, playing defense and delivering punishing fouls.
He would have the most amazing NBA career, not top five but number one. He would surpass Jordan as the most amazing player in the league. Jordan isn't really even the right comparison. He's more like a thicker Magic, capable of really playing any of the 5 positions at a high level. He's better than Magic, too, because his defense is better. So as long as his career doesn't get derailed like Magic's did, I think he really will go down as the best player the league has seen so far.
He won't win as many scoring titles as Jordan, he won't win as many rings as Russell, he won't put ahead a 50-point average season like Wilt, but he'll whip up a lot of triple-doubles in his career, he'll be the best player on his team for at least another ten years, and in this diluted and mostly well-managed league, he will be an envied asset for any organization. Especially when he realizes that he has hundreds of millions of dollars and only has to play to win.
He already makes his team play better, what will happen when he starts signing 5 million dollar deals to play with his buddies and win a few rings? Sports fans are a fickle bunch, though, and I have a bad feeling that if Lebron doesn't live up to that expectation, he may be remembered as a disappointment. Not because he wasn't great, because we already know that he's great, but because if he loses his desire to win, and retires before he's 40, true fans will feel like they got cheated out of seeing Lebron morph into Bill Laimbeer when he's reinventing his game for the third or fourth time.
He's just such a special player that everyone wants to see his gifts utilized 100% because we know that he has transcendent game within him and its magical to see and we will never be happy with the amount of transcendence he get from him. Make no mistake about it, he will be a bit of a disappointment if he doesn't surpass everyone else with his career.
I can't believe anyone ever even asks, "Kobe or Lebron?" It doesn't make sense. Just consider their positions and bodies. In the gap between players at their own positions, Lebron is far better than his competition at his position than Kobe is. Kobe is expected to score more at this point in his career. He's a perimeter player. Lebron makes up for it in that he makes his team better than Kobe does. He seems more well-balanced mentally than Kobe as well, so I think that he will be able to become a great big man, great sixth man, great role player, great clutch player on a lot of competitive teams. He'll get around a bit as he gets older, and he'll bring some personality to every team lucky enough to have him.
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