Cheryl Bernard

I'm going on record here, I've watched a lot more Olympic curling than I expected. I don't watch too much usually, maybe some of the Brier, but Olympics I always seem to watch. The men are more skilled and make more "wow" shots, but I love to watch the ladies, too. Cheryl Bernard is definitely the sexiest curler in the event. She may not be the youngest, or the prettiest, but she's definitely the sexiest. She has a crazy sexy intensity and I'm pretty sure that makes it more fun to watch. Ok, I'm very sure about it. So I guess if curling wants to get more popular, they'll have to run out an Anna Kournikova-style team that isn't really very good, but they're super sexy enough to get more fans into the game. They'd be an also-ran in all the big bonspiels, but they'd get press and it would be good for curling. Until then, though, Cheryl Bernard is the super-hot milf Queen of Curling. I'm expecting a good showing in the next year from Jennifer Jones, she's my homeskillet.

The mens curling has been great, too. Kevin Martin's rink has made some super awesome shots, just matter-of-factly. They are so good that you can't strategize against them because they make every single kind of shot look effortless. They are a robot curling machine sent from the future to dominate, and they will not be stopped. The Norwegian men made it to the gold medal game in curling based on a strategy that relied heavily on not being taken seriously as a result of their ludicrous pants. That gambit is up, I'm afraid, because Kevin Martin's robot rink is immune to the absurd. Their cold robotic logic is entirely unaffected by any psychological ruse. They will win and they will make it look like you played right into their hands. So may I present the almost-Gold Medal Canadian Mens Curling Team, the Puppet Masters of Curling, The Hammer from Olympus, Kevin Martron with Curlingbots 1, 2, and 3!

In other, pathetic curling news, the mens curling rink from the US has been a terrible disappointment. I have a hard time believing these guys are the best curlers in the US, they can't be. They look like they could be beaten at a weekend funspiel by senior citizens. I know how disappointed this has made the fans, because if they were good, more Americans would watch and get hooked on the sport.

It's one of the great life-long games you can play, and I look forward to my future bringing curling back into my life someday. I hope it spreads infectiously through the US, at least in the midwest through the northeast. More people should be enjoying this game, giving adults a sense of curling-club community so they can finally stop going to church.